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Sometimes I forget that I’m not fat anymore!

524426_10150924833127629_1839616826_nSometimes I forget that I’m not fat anymore. I forget that I am a fit, energetic, active person!

I realize that sounds crazy, but it’s true. I often refer to myself as a ‘fat person in a skinny body’, since I will ALWAYS struggle with my food weaknesses.

Most people who know me now never knew fat me. They never new the girl who would buy A&W on the way home from work, order the Chubby Chicken sandwich, regular fries, a side of onion rings (with honey mustard dipping sauce) and a DIET coke,  then eat it form the bag in bed, with my laptop on my knee.  (That meal, by the way, is 42 PointsPlus Values, which basically means I’d have to run a marathon to burn that many calories!).  They never saw me roll over in bed, throw the A&W bag on the floor and go to sleep.  No one who knows me now knows that I used to get in to bed at 5pm after work and stay there until I got up for work at 6am the next day.  I actually don’t think anyone who knows me now would believe what I just wrote.

The thing is, I know that’s how I was, I still remember it. And even now, after 6 years on WeightWatchers, with almost 5 years at goal, sometimes I forget how far I’ve come.

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When you look at my ‘statistics’  from a logical standpoint, they will tell you I am a fit, active person.  5 marathons, 16 half marathons, multiple 10, 8 & 5K races.  Hundreds of kilometers run on an annual basis, not only on the nice weather days, but also in rain, wind and snow. I see the race bibs and medals on the walls at home all the time. My apartment is filled with reminders of what I’ve done.  But sometimes I still forget I’m not fat anymore!

This past weekend, I went on an adventure to a place called Myra Falls, in Strathcona Provincial Park.  It is an absolutely gorgeous place, well worth the almost 4 hour drive!

As you can see from the picture below, there is plenty of snow on the ground up there. In fact, when we arrived, we found that the access road to the parking area was still covered in snow, so we would have to park on the road and walk in.

I remember my first reaction to having to walk in being “ugh, I didn’t sign up for hard work today. This is going to be hard!”.   Then once we walked in to the parking lot, we saw that the trail to down to the falls was covered in untouched, knee deep snow.  Again, my reaction was “ugh, this is going to be hard”, but I kept my thoughts to myself and we proceeded down the trail.  I took the lead, since I was the only person wearing actual snow boots, and made my way down the never ending hill.

At one point we rounded a corner and I saw fallen trees blocking the trail and tried to use it as an excuse to turn back, but I was overruled!   It was at this point that I turned to look back up the hill and realized just how much of a climb the return trip would be!!!  And yet again, my reaction was “ugh, no! This SUCKS! I’m never going to make it back up that hill!!!”

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After spending about half an hour or so having snowball fights, taking pictures and admiring the falls, it was time to head back up the trail to the car.  I was DREADING this!  In my mind on this day, I was still a fat, lazy out of shape person, and there was no way I was capable of climbing that hill back to the car!

In my head, I was remembering a summer day about 15 years ago, in a previous life, when N’s parents were out here visiting from Winnipeg.  We went on a hike out to Sooke Potholes and I swear, it almost killed me!  Walking up the hill to the old abandoned resort site I was huffing and puffing and whining about the hill, and the heat, and how hard it was.  In my head, I was still fat, and today was going to be just like that day, only I’d be whining about the cold instead of the heat!

Hmmm, turns out I was wrong.  It turns out it was all in my head! (Imagine that!)

I admit, I was breathing heavy on the way back up the hill, but then that’s normal.  The thing is, I didn’t really struggle.  My legs didn’t hurt, my heart rate wasn’t excessive, I wasn’t completely out of breath, I didn’t need to take a breather. I just walked back up the hill like it was nothing.

It turns out that I’m not actually fat & lazy anymore.  It turns out I am a fit, active, energetic person who can easily do things that she would have once avoided because of the physical inability to actually do them!  It turns out, I am the new me!  (haha, that was cheesy!)







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