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Some bitch yelled at me once…

If all goes according to plan, 48 hours from now, I will be nearing completion of my 4th marathon.

I will be exhausted. I will be sore. I will want to quit.

I will see the finish line. I will get my second (or third or fourth or fifth) wind, and I will come in strong.

The time on the clock will start with a 3.


I’ve written the movie in my head.  I can see myself in the starting corral. I can see the crowds of people around me. I can feel the excitement and the nervous anticipation.  I can hear what I am saying to myself: “Keep it slow, don’t start out fast, run your own race”.

I’m not all that familiar with Vancouver, so I can’t entirely picture my surroundings. In the movie in my head it’s just a generic city skyline, and streets filled with runners.  There are parts of the route I will recognize.  The area through UBC, Spanish Banks, Kitsilano, the (infamous) Burrard St Bridge, Stanley Park & the Sea Wall, but for the most part, I’ll just be following the crowd.  I always say that I run like one of those horses you can take on trail rides at a guest ranch. I just follow the ass in front of me.

I’ve got friends placed on the route to swap out my Gatorade bottles, and will have so many more friends at the finish line.

I can’t wait to get to that finish line.

I have been more dedicated to my training for this marathon than for any other race before.  I have put in the miles. I have done the speed drills. I have done my hill repeats. I have done it all. I am ready.

I’ve played this movie over and over in my head so many times. I am ready.

But then, the race is less than 48 hours away, and there is always the nagging doubts.

What if the mileage wasn’t enough? What if I didn’t do enough hills? What if my body just doesn’t want to run a marathon? What if that ‘phantom’ pain in my hip/ankle/knee/back is something real that I should be worried about? What if I hit the wall? What if I can’t finish?

Yesterday, I was being a realist. I was having a conversation with a friend about being prepared for a DNF (Did Not Finish) and she told me “Some bitch yelled at me once and taught me that positive thinking is the key”.  Well, that bitch was me!  I gave her heck for having doubts in her abilities. I gave her heck for having doubt in her training. I gave her heck for not believing in herself!

I have faith in my training. I have faith in my ability.

I believe that when I cross that finish line on Sunday the time on the clock will start with a 3.

I believe I can do this!

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