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Lessons Learned:

If there is one thing I can say about my last ditch attempt to see if my relationship with N could work out in the long term, it is that I figured out a lot of things that are important to me.

I definitely learned a lot of things about myself, and about what I want in a partner.


I learned that marriage is important to me.  If you don’t want to be married one day, down the road, then you’re not the guy for me.

I learned that a love of your job is important to me. You have to like what you do, but not be all consumed by it.

I learned that I am a social person. I like to be out and about in the world, be it interacting with people at a large social function, or a quiet dinner for 2 in the corner of a restaurant.

I learned that I am a pleaser. I have a tendency to put others before myself, and I need to stop that.

I learned that I deserve more. I deserve someone who loves me as much as I love them,  if not more.

I learned that I am an openly affectionate person, and you should be too. If you don’t want your friends to know you’re with me, then you don’t want to be with me.

I learned that morals & values are important to me. A good head on your shoulders, honesty, and a sense of right & wrong are things I value.

I learned that I need support. My passion for marathon running is time consuming. To be with me, you need to support that and be there for me. Not only during training, but also, be physically there on race day. I will probably need someone to hold me up when I cross the finish line.

I learned that it is possible to love someone very much, only to realize you don’t really LIKE them.

I learned that companionship makes me happy. Beginning & ending the day beside someone you care for makes every day a better day.

I learned that I enjoy having children in my life, even though I’m not sure I want my own.

And on that note, I learned that if children are a MUST HAVE in your future, I’m probably not the girl for you. I don’t want the pressure of knowing that kids are a definite in your future. I just don’t know if I want my own. I want someone who is undecided, like me.


Most of all, I learned that it is absolutely going to be worth the wait when I finally find the man for me. Because I have realized that if I wanted so much to be with the wrong one, with all our differences and flaws, then when I finally do find the right one, it is going to be absolutely amazing.

I think that knowing I have learned so much about myself, and realizing that N & I disagreed on so many key things, is why I have walked away from this stronger. I have walked away with a better understanding of who I am and what is important to me.  I will never regret my time with N. I think everything happens for a reason, and that I am coming out of this experience so much stronger and so much wiser.  I know now not to settle for less than what I deserve.

I know now that the most important person in my life is me.

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