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So, What happened?

It feels kind of odd writing this.  In my head I am joking with myself that I need a ‘rep’ or a ‘publicist’ to make a statement on my behalf!  But that’s just me, in my head, where I live in a fantasy land!

 

Anyway, since I made my announcement last week, a lot of you have been asking what happened.  So this is my short explanation.

 

6 months ago, when N & I decided to give our relationship another chance, we sat down and had a very serious discussion.  We had been down this road before and we wanted it to be different.

The results of the discussion were that we would live our life at his house at the lake, we would talk about things (not bottle them up) and that this was the last chance.  If it didn’t work this time, it was completely over. All or nothing.

Turns out that over the last 6 months, N & I learned at lot about ourselves and each other.

I learned that you can love someone very much, but not LIKE certain things about them.  I learned that I have definite wants from a relationship & my future, as well as definite things I do not want.

So the simple answer to the question of what happened is this:

What I want out of my future is not in line with what N wants, and as much as we do love each other, there are things neither of us were willing to compromise on.

So that’s it. We gave it our all, and we tried, but it just didn’t work.

N was very good to me when we ended things.  Since my life had been relocated to his house, he spent over 24 hours at my house helping me with a big clean up and clear out. He also made sure that my pantry & fridge were stocked, since we split grocery costs at his house and my food budget had been spent there already. He was more than fair about the things I took from his house, and the things we split with each other. He was very good.

Yes, I am sad and I am hurt, but I am Okay. No, this is not how I had hoped things would go, but I am calm and accepting of it.  I am moving forward, excited to start a new round of marathon training and hoping to make my first ever trip to Ontario to run my next marathon. I am enjoying certain aspects of having my ‘freedom’ again, such as spending money on myself without being lectured on how it could be better spent. I am also enjoying being refocused on myself, my fitness and my eating habits.

 

I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason, and having N back in my life for these last 2 years has taught me a lot. I am glad for that.

 

So, there you go. That is what happened.

 

K.

 

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